Sitting against this concrete wall, I can’t hold back the tears that make their way down my face. I’m done hiding, I can’t run away from the pain that encompasses my soul anymore. I need to face it, I need to own my tears because in all reality they are the sole reason for my strength, they are the reason why I can speak effortlessly without my voice breaking with every word that I utter, they are the reason why I can still breathe like this black hole, this vacuum isn’t sucking me in, they are the reason why I can still see the beauty in adversity, why I can still feel compassion towards people, why I can still smile as if I’m the happiest person alive.
My quivering lips, my shivering body, my red swollen eyes do not mean that I’m not brave enough, not dauntless enough, they certainly do not mean that I am weak or helpless in any sense; it all just means that I find pride in letting my sentiments, my rawness define me. I believe that it Is our vulnerability, our passiveness, our openness towards ourselves and those that surround us that makes us imperfectly human.
No I am not saying this because I want you to feel any sort of pity or sympathy towards me, or any person for that matter. But I’m writing this because I have had too much, I have seen far too many cases where people keep the agony, the frustration locked up inside themselves and over time the suffering gets too real, too brutally real that these people end up becoming insensitive to any sort of emotion, be it happiness or dejection, they end up loosing that spark that they once held. And we all know what happens next is not a pretty picture. Just to cope with the growing emptiness inside themselves they inflict the same misery, the same sense of deprivation on others because it gives them a sort of satisfaction, a sense of fulfillment. And this cycle goes on and on and on until it poisons the ideology of society, until it destroys the idea of any sort of peace and love between people, until it breeds a heinous indifference, a sense of merciless revenge and unforgiveness in the hearts of people that should bloom with harmony and fraternity.
Your tears are precious, value them, allow they to purify all the negativity and pain that you have held inside for decades, let your tears flow so that they can heal your deepest scars and mend your shattered soul.
Once, you let go off your pessimistic thoughts you’ll be able to feel a joy, a sense of contentment that enriches the soul and makes you feel whole again. Anytime you feel like things are too tough for you, or maybe when nothing feels right, go to a corner and let your tears flow and you’ll see how all the pain will magically disappear into thin air. Your tears are your escape, so let them flow.
Picture Source: Heather Emond