People are drowning. Everybody around me seems to be drowning and yet I feel like I can’t really do anything for them. I personally know this person going through depression, and trust me just looking at her is unnerving. She looks as if she’s trapped, she screams and shouts but there really is no way out ; she looks so vulnerable and broken. A few days ago I was talking to her and I asked her if she could explain what it felt like ? She said:
“It’s heavy, really heavy.”
These words have stuck with me throughout. They drill holes into my body and I feel so utterly helpless. The fear floating in her eyes kills me but somewhere down there I see belief. I see the unbreakable faith that drop by drop the storm will go away, that it can not rain forever, the sun will rise again and she’ll be free to explore the valleys of joy and love.
We, as humans constantly feel this need to numb our emotions. To abandon all that brings in negativity and only look at the bright side of things. But what we fail to understand is that contentment and vulnerability can coexist inside us. Being vulnerable is completely okay but when we try to numb misery, grief , agony, anxiety, suffering and vulnerability, we end up neglecting happiness, tenderness and the need to connect. And connection is so important because it is our sole purpose in life. We believe that our suffering does not affect the people around us but that is so wrong. We are all linked in our own distinct ways and ultimately, if one person suffers every single person suffers. We are all in this together.
We all desperately pursue a clarity of purpose and loath anything that brings in uncertainty. We don’t discuss anymore, we don’t try to find a way out of a situation, we just straight away blame. “It’s not me, it’s you !” Period. That is all we know.
We forget that everything takes time, we neglect the process and rush to conclusions. But it is not a matter of Now but a matter of How.
We feel the need to perfect, to narrow down everything to one single word : Victory.
But it is okay to not be up to the mark, to fall down, to have to stumble in order to get there. Because once you feel the pain that comes with falling down, then only will you be able to taste the sweetness of accomplishment and not only experience it but also value it.
Life is a painful struggle and it promises survival to only those who show the grit to tolerate uncertainty. Although, you might not know where you are headed right now , there is still a possibility of somewhere beautiful but if you choose to jump off the train then there is nothing that awaits you except the certainty of death.
Picture Source: SHTTEFAN